How to deal with big changes in your life
Change is a natural part of life and we are all affected by changes. Some we make happen because we consciously decide that things need to be different and at other times change feels like it is being inflicted upon us.
When we control the change it is easy for us to accept, but difficulties occur when we feel change has been thrust upon us so here are my tips to help you deal with any changes that you feel are not in your control:
Recognise that change is happening - many of us like to bury our heads in the sand and pretend that change isn’t happening and then we get very upset when it does. If you recognise that change is happening it can be less stressful than putting things off.
Face your fears – write down what you fear because of this change. Writing things down can help ease the emotional pressure and can help you see clearly that things may not be as bad as you first imagined. It also helps you to create a plan of action.
Accept your feelings and talk to others - talking with others and asking for practical help can help ease the transition between what is now and what will be. Use your friends, colleagues, relatives and any other support networks that are available to you. People are helpful and you may find that talking eases the pain and the worry.
Look at the positives – try and see the benefits of the change – what can it give you the freedom to do/accomplish. A glass half full is a better feeling than the glass half empty.
Keep to your regular schedule as much as possible. Doing normal everyday activities helps to give your brain a rest i.e walking the dog, going for your usual jog etc. These things act as an anchor and remind us that some things are still the same.
Reduce stress and anxiety - Watch your food intake – In times of change, we experience huge amounts of stress and this can affect what we eat and drink. Most of us will reach for the high carb diet – bread, cakes and sweets as these can boost serotonin levels and are ok in moderation but be careful of your reliance on them. Likewise with alcohol and other substances – keep an eye on your intake as this can also increase without you realising. The best way is to keep a diary of what you ‘ve eaten or drunk during the day as this can give you a clear visual clue as to your diet.
Focus on your exercise or practice deep breathing or yoga techniques. These will also help to soothe the mind.
Have a sense of self. Look at your strengths and accomplishments – What can you utilise from those to assist you during the change period.
Be careful in the use of social media. It’s ok to talk to others but if you begin to compare your lives to others on social media it can give a skewed picture as social media is normally used for highlighting the good things in our lives. Remember that everyone has their own challenges, and what we put on social media is in the public record.
Be proactive – Many people react to change, that is waiting until it happens before they do something, but if you can see change is coming you can be proactive and take steps to minimise the effect of the change.
Give yourself a break. Change can sometimes make you feel out of control but it is worth remembering that you can learn from the mistakes, and that it is important to incorporate laughter into your life. Laughter helps to increase our levels of serotonin and dopamine – both contribute to the "feel good factor".
About Meera Mehat and Harley Street Consulting
I’m a behavioural change and emotional well being specialist and a qualified hypnotherapist, NLP practitioner and coach. I have spent the last 30 years in changing the behaviours and lives of children, teenagers and adults from all walks of life. I have set up Harley Street Consulting to help continue my work in helping others achieve success and behavioural change in their lives. I have offices in Maidenhead, Berkshire and Harley Street London, please get in touch if you would like to find out more about how I can help.