How to Survive Summer Holiday Stress Without Losing Your Mind

Practical strategies to help you juggle work, children and your own wellbeing

The summer holidays are often glorious for many children, six wonderful weeks of freedom. However, for many working parents, the summer holidays can feel like it is an assault course with six weeks of logistics, interrupted Zoom calls, endless food requests, a running chorus of ‘I’m bored’ , alongside trying to work full-time, parent, entertain and care for kids at the same time.

So many parents feel like they can’t keep up with those wonderfully social media curated videos and reels of family adventures, days out and fun at home. The reality for many working parents particularly single parent families is that bills still need paying. Work deadlines don’t just disappear because schools are on holiday and if you have children of different ages with different needs the challenge is so much more difficult.

So, if you're feeling stretched, you're certainly not alone.

Here are some practical strategies that can help make the summer holidays feel a little more manageable.

1. Aim for connection, not a perfect summer

Let go of the idea of a perfect summer. Children don't need six weeks of expensive activities or constant entertainment. What they remember most is how they felt.

Simple ideas such as a picnic in the garden, baking together, an evening walk, a pillow fight, water fight or watching a film together with popcorn often create stronger memories than trying to fill every day with expensive outings. Building a good connection with your kids is much more memorable than fraught and expensive full days out.

2. Different ages need different approaches in the school holidays

If you treat every child, the same regardless of age and developmental stage there will inevitably problems. Trying to treat every child exactly the same rarely works.

• Babies and toddlers need routine and predictability.

• Primary-aged children need structure mixed with plenty of opportunities to play.

• Teenagers need increasing independence while still feeling connected. If you're worried about how yours is coping more generally, it's worth reading our post on spotting anxiety in teenagers.

• Older teenagers enjoy earning money, planning their own activities and many will also be willing to play or help younger siblings especially if there are rewards involved.

Rather than expecting everyone to do the same thing, think about each child's developmental stage and build flexibility into your day.

An example is if your baby or toddler has nap times and you have primary aged children use those nap times to allow your primary aged child to do something independently like drawing , colouring etc or watch their favourite programme – there is nothing wrong with using electronics for the short term, while you attend to your work. Schedule meetings etc where you know your children can be napping or having quiet time. Use Older siblings to help you out if necessary and incentivise them by offering payment or rewards i.e.  a trip to the cinema with their friends etc.

3. Create a loose summer holiday routine for kids

Having a predictable rhythm reduces constant questions like "What are we doing now?" and helps children feel more secure.

Children often cope better when they know roughly what to expect. Instead of planning every hour, divide the day into simple chunks and show the children how the day will be broken up:

• Morning jobs or work time – this can be for both you and the children

• Independent activities – drawing, painting, electronics

• Lunch together – get them involved in making it

• Outdoor time – even a quick walk together in inclement weather can help everyone feel refreshed and invigorated.

• Quiet time – jigsaws, puzzles, reading, TV

• Family time

4. Build life skills and encourage independence

Summer can be a fantastic opportunity to teach life skills and depending on their age children can learn to dress themselves, make breakfast – especially simple ones like toast and cereal or older ones might be able to get a bit more creative. Allow them to prepare their own lunches and get involved in making fun and interesting combos. Older children can help the younger ones here. You could even stretch it to preparing a picnic basket together – everyone working both on their own and as a team to pull together food and drinks to suit everyone’s tastes. Other activities could include looking after any pets or walking the dog, helping with laundry -hunt the dirty washing or fold and put away washed and dried clothes.

Allow one member of the family to plan an activity each week for the family to do together - something like watching a movie, a pillow fight, doing a puzzle together -set your boundaries I’e free to do and at home and then let them get creative

Children often gain confidence when trusted with responsibility.

5. Use activity stations instead of constant entertainment

Instead of thinking, "What can I do with the children today?" create options they can choose from. These might be having a craft corner, a Lego building station , a dress up box, a small reading nook, soft play area, garden games. Water play can be done easily with a small washing up bowl and plastic containers, if you’re brave – you could set up a music corner with household items or have songs they like with a make believe microphone so they can do karaoke. Science, Technology, Engineering, and Maths (STEM) challenges – These can be easily adapted for different children of different ages. Ideas for Stem activities to do at home can be found here on the Outschool site.

Rotating activities keeps them feeling fresh without constantly buying new toys.

6. Working from home with kids: how to stop saying 'Not now'

If you're working from home, it's important that you can find ways to show your children that this is the time you cannot be disturbed. Children cope far better when they know they will have your attention later than when they're repeatedly told "Not now."

You might use:

• A sign on your office door

• A timer children can understand

• Headphones as a visual signal

• Planned check-in breaks every hour

7. Boredom can be your friend.

Many parents feel guilty when children say they're bored. In reality, boredom is often the starting point for creativity. Don't underestimate the power of boredom as it can encourage problem-solving, imagination and independent play. You don't have to put yourself under pressure to rescue every moment of boredom. Allow them time to be bored and guide them gently to activities that are available around the home.

8. Keep expectations lower than usual.

A house full of children isn't going to be the ideal time to insist on tidiness especially when they are home for most of the time. You don't need to have homecooked meals every night or make sure that the washing and ironing are done on time. Some weeks are simply about getting through while keeping everyone safe, watered, fed and reasonably happy. That in itself is a success.

9. Take 5 for you - Look after your own nervous system

Being on constant alert is tiring and many parents are during the long summer break. Juggling work, childcare, cooking, activities and family life can leave your nervous system permanently switched on, increasing stress, exhaustion and energy depletion

Taking even five minutes can help reset your stress response. Small things such as deep breathing, a stroll in the garden, listening to a calm piece of music or guided relaxation can help you feel calmer, where you can respond to the children rather than react.

10. Remember that children learn from watching you

Children often take their cues from parents so it's important that they notice how you cope and not just what you do. By watching you take breaks, solve problems calmly, ask for help, laughing when things go awry and manage stress in healthy ways, they're learning resilience and this maybe one of the greatest lessons they'll take from the summer.

The Bottom Line

If you're balancing work with children this summer, you're doing something genuinely difficult. It's important to remember that some days everything will run smoothly. Other days you'll wonder how anyone manages it all. Both of these feelings and thoughts are completely normal. The important thing is to is to offer a home where everyone can thrive , feel loved and supported – even if dinner is beans on toast and a fried egg, or where the washing basket is overflowing and the house hasn't been vacuumed for a couple of days.

More often than not that is enough.